I Belong To Me

Here we are at the height of summer. Mother Nature is doing her thing… ignoring the boundaries we try to impose, spilling her verdant juiciness all over creation, going exactly where she wants to go. It’s glorious.

She does not give two hoots about the political scene or the fashion scene. She cares even less if the internet is down. She just keeps on going. And growing.

It’s as if she belongs to herself and no one else.

As I make my way through midlife, I am keen to learn from her. What would my life look like if I lived according to my own desires and talents? If I were free to live and grow exactly as my soul guides, how would I spend my time? What would be in, and what would be out? Whom would I choose, and whom would I release?

I pray that above all else, I would choose to belong to me. Not my family, not my culture, not my religion, not my husband, not my child. Just me.

I am not talking about unfettered greed or selfishness here. We have enough of that in the distended and obfuscated masculine that has taken over our culture.

I am talking about being so rooted in my truth that it would be unthinkable to betray myself for the sake of lady-like pleasantry.

I am talking about being so honest with myself about my own strengths and weaknesses that I live right on the edge of potential…stretching into the new and retreating back into the known according to my personal rhythm.

This is the secret that the Crones know. They know that the ticket to a full and fulfilled life lies in saying yes to my own soul first and foremost. They know that it is only by being true to myself that I can contribute to the overall good.

They know that when I belong to me I can tap into the Love that created me and sustains me without being distracted by the abundant bad advice all around me. They also know that I can reject some of the good advice if by doing so I learn an essential lesson.

When I belong to me, I own it all…all of the good I’ve accomplished, and all of the mistakes I’ve made. I hold myself in high esteem and profound forgiveness. I am lavish with grace and compassion.

When I belong to me, I am free from the wicked grasp of shame that would have me live small and mean. Being fully myself means that I inhabit my physical body and my emotional body with great gusto…resisting neither pleasure nor pain, neither joy nor sorrow. I radically accept all that comes.

This way of living is not for the feint of heart. It demands truth when lies are easier. And it requires flexibility by its constant beat of change.

But at this point in my life, I cannot go back to living for the approval and validation of others. Don’t get me wrong, it is always nice to know that the way I live enhances the lives of others. That’s like a good dose of sunshine after days of rain. But what I’m after is having the drive to keep on growing even when my edges have been clipped.

Rooted deeply in my truth, and belonging to no one else but me, I want to stretch out unabashedly and grow into the fullest and best expression of my unique self. And I want you to do the same. There’s plenty of room for all of us.