Living On Purpose

"I didn’t do it on purpose.”

That phrase used to be my salvation. As a child raised in the deep shame of the Catholic church doubled by the Italian American culture of my family, I felt guilty a lot. I prayed nightly for forgiveness.

As I learned addition and subtraction, as I practiced cursive, as I played with my friends, I had damnation on my mind.

When President Ford interrupted my favorite television show to deliver the State of the Union Address I was so angry that I stuck my tongue out at him. Immediately, I retreated to my bedroom to pray the rosary and ask for forgiveness. I didn’t want to go to hell.

Fast forward a handful of decades, a hundred hours of therapy, a million words in my journal, and deep dedication to being compassionate with myself, and now “I didn’t do it on purpose” triggers a much different response in me.

It is a reminder to manifest the life I want to live. In order to live in accordance with my soul’s desire I have to live on purpose.

But how do I hear the call of my highest self? How do I know what I am called to do in this life?

To find those answers, I have to turn inward with courage, compassion and determination.

At some point in the wake up shake up that was 2020, I heard Rev. Dr. Traci Blackmon present a powerful question, “Who taught me who I am, and were they speaking truth?” I have been turning this question over and over in my mind ever since.

I know that my culture, my family and my ego define me according to the stories that define them and the plan they have for their own safety and survival. Their goal is to maintain the status quo.

But the status quo is not my soul’s purpose. And it’s not your soul’s purpose either. We are called to a much bigger and more satisfying life than those confines would ever allow.

We are called to see ourselves as innately connected to each other and to this planet. And as such, we are called to use what we have been given in the pursuit of freedom, justice and growth for all. Our souls know that we are expressions of Divine Love, and our purpose is to magnify and send that Love into the world through our gifts.

In order to do that, each of us must be willing to go on the journey of self discovery. Each of us is called to ask, “Who am I and what do I believe? What matters to me, and what am I willing to risk? What makes me feel alive and aligned?”

For me, it’s about seeing the unquestionable worthiness of my sisters and brothers and helping them see themselves accordingly. It’s about letting the Love that is my birthright free me to live a life of healing and empowering others.

Now that’s a life I want to live.

And I want to do it on purpose.